Just want to make sure my baby is ok!

Today has been a LONG day it all started out with Zoe's doctors appointment, at 10am it started out like any normal time I would take her to the doctor. She got checked out by the nurse and she is doing absolutely GREAT she is doing very good in her weight, and her height, and she is in the top percentile in her development! Then her Peditrician came in and checked her out listened to her heart, lungs, ears, eyes, mouth, nose all the normal things and he said she is doing wonderful, and I was feeling great. Then he was like BUT, you know I really hate that word BUT it's always a term that people make others feel good then go completely down to horrible feeling. Anyways he was like BUT I "heard vibrations in her heart that makes me believe that she has a heart murmur! After I heard this I felt a knot in my throat and the tears start to well up in my eyes, but I didn't want to bust out crying in the doctors office but inside I was dying! He said that it's not one that he was concerned about that it was an "innocent" heart murmur, and that chances are that it is going to heal as she gets older. As he was speaking I could hear what he was saying but the thoughts were racing through my mind. "why?" "what did I do wrong?" "could I have done to prevent this?" then the questions quickly turned into blaming myself, even though he said it was "innocent" no mother wants to hear that their baby has any kind of defect! In the middle of all this I was listening to him and he said to make sure I want to refer you to a pediatric cardiologist. Then he said he would send a referral, and at this point. I wanted to get out of there, I just wanted to cry!

I have had the doctor and Mitchell tell me "don't worry about it she will be fine!" it helped, it really did but I can't seem to get it out of my head! So the doctor called and told me which doc to call and I quickly called and made her the first appointment! The first available one was may 15th.. How was I supposed to wait that long? I am trying to be stronger and not break down, and know that everything is going to be ok! But I don't...I just want my baby to be ok! I just hope that when we do go, that she will be ok! I just don't know what I will do if there was anything wrong with her! She's very special to me! I love her so much! I am going to pray to god that it heals its self and that my babygirl don't have to go through anything because she doesn't deserve it! She's done soo much to change me for the better and each day that I wake up to her smiling face makes my days just that much brighter!

I haven't told alot of people but I just wanted to get this out it's been on my mind all day long! And I cannot seem to get it to go away! So please pray and hope that it is something that is going to last and that it's what the doctor said and it's "innocent" and will go away on it's own! Please! I'll be doing the same thing!