Before I met Mitchell, I was still that person. He changed me, well he made me want to change. He showed nothing short of love and respect for me. I could tell him things that I couldn't even really speak with my mother about. That to me speaks volumes, he was the only person that I actually "let in" to actually see that through the tough outer exterior that I show, that I have feeling, and emotions. He loved me through everything and through all of my faults. I have been mentally, physically, and emotionally abused in my life. I will not go through the details.. But I carried it with me, for the longest time and resented myself into thinking maybe me being here on earth was a fatal "mistake". I am not one to ever hurt myself physically, but emotionally I beat myself everyday. I struggled to find my place in life, somewhere I felt that I belonged!
I often threw myself into the worst relationships, not saying that I went from men to men every other week, as my last relationship lasted for six years. Remember this is all before I even met or knew of my husband. Anyways my last relationship was good at first then the longer we were together we resented each other! Mainly I resented him because he never let me just "BREATH" and was a very jealous and insecure person. I hate when people question my motives and he did that quite often, but I dealt with it because we were together for so long. How could I just start over? The relationship I knew was unhealthy, but I kept going with it, until it got very rough. I do not tolerate cheating for any reason, and he broke my number one cardinal rule NOT TO CHEAT! I never felt so betrayed or disrespected in my life until that very point, I have anger problems but I have my morals and want to be treated with respect! That was the end of that, I will never forgive that level of betrayal from anyone. So I made a promise to myself that I would find someone that will respect me and never betray me ever, it took some time and also took just a little more time for me to get my life back in order.
When Mitchell and I met I considered myself a "BROKEN" person. Through all that, I also had some major health issues, that alot of people til this day do not know about. I don't like to bring it up, it was an awful part of my past, and took me a while to get over it. Mitchell was one of the main people that I shared my health problems to, he embraced me in a way that I never expected anyone to. He wanted me to be better, he could see through to my heart and knew that how I was, was because what I have been through. Until this day aside from Mitchell I have never "fully" opened up to what has happened to me in the past, because from past experiences I have been hurt, been called a liar, all the above. So after all that I closed completely down, because I should never have to prove myself of the pain that I have been through. I hide my scars, and remove myself from all the bad things. I go to a different place that makes it all better. I cry at night when I am sad, mad or all the above I am a normal person!
Take it from me you never want to have to get to that point in your life. It sticks with you and affects your everyday life, no matter how much you try to avoid it. The pain is always there, the scars will be there as well as an everyday reminder, but I embrace it and move on towards the future. Even the most fragile glass can be repaired after being broken. I still have things to overcome, but for now I am in a great part of my life. I have what I need and what I have been blessed with!
Never take your relationship for granted, and take the time for you and your husband/wife, or your significant other. The more communication you have with that person and you take some time for yourselves the better your relationship will evolve.
A RELATIONSHIP WITH LOVE AND RESPECT, IS A RELATIONSHIP THAT WILL LAST A LIFE TIME...
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